


Hope Amongst Insanity

by Amwaaker



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:42:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29783883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amwaaker/pseuds/Amwaaker
Summary: This idea is one I discussed over a year ago with a few other writers. I wanted a Caryl do-over post prison. I also had an idea for a fic featuring both Eugene and Lizzie. When I announced the challenge for the Our Walking Dead Family Facebook group, I decided to mesh the two. I didn't get very far before realizing I may have more to tell in the future about this little universe.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon & Carol Peletier, Daryl Dixon/Carol Peletier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	Hope Amongst Insanity

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy this challenge response. Here were the criteria:
> 
> Your favorite ship (new friends or new lovers) + a new place/room/location (something NOT seen on show) + a new character (an OC). ZA or non-ZA. Minimum of 1K words.

Mid Morning at The Grove

Carol walked back through the flowers, turning back towards the little house at the grove. Her mind was frantically replaying the events of the last hour. Finding the little house early yesterday had seemed a blessing. It seemed a stable respite for the girls on the way to the rest of the group's supposed destination of Terminus. And it was. Until today. Never did Carol expect the day to dawn and have their safe haven turn into a place where Lizzie's mind would turn wholly over to murder. She hadn't even conceived it a place where Mika would have to fight against her own beloved sister for survival. But, the quaint little home's yard had indeed turned into an arena where a fight for survival had been waged and narrowly won. 

Ahead, Carol spotted Tyreese sitting with Judith and a bandaged Mika on the front steps. Carol had instructed them all to wait there and stay put, no matter what they heard; until she returned. She hadn't known what the final outcome of her and Lizzie's walk through the flowers would be when they had departed the little home a little less than an hour ago. She only hoped that Tyreese and Mika understood her decision. This day was indeed a battle for everybody at the grove. A battle between sanity and insanity.

Her mind replayed the scene. She knew she only had Tyreese to thank that Mika and little Judith were still alive.

It was only the big man's insistence on returning earlier than planned from their errand in the house's side woods that had saved the two youngest girls. Her revelations to him about Karen and David had elicited forgiveness, but not ease. So Tyreese had insisted on returning earlier than planned.

Seeing Lizzie's knife held in threat of her sister had pushed the former linebacker into tackling the oldest girl. Her knife still cut into the tender flesh of her sister's shoulder, but had missed the intended destination of her heart. 

Carol's mind had gone into overdrive when she saw the blood on the younger sister. When she witnessed Judith wailing from her position on the ground.

Her mind's frenetic pace was tempered only by Lizzie's defiant, unhinged shrieks detailing Lizzie's plans for first Mika . . . then Judith was quickly heard.

"I can show you! I wouldn't have hurt their brains! They'd have come back! They would just be different! I have to show you!"

\-------

Inside Terminus Boxcar - One Hour Earlier

"You lying son of a bitch! People died to protect your ass!" Abraham bellowed.

"I am fully aware of those who lost their lives in my cowardly methods of self preservation. All I can do now however is apologize profusely for my cowardice, and throw myself at your feet in sincere regret. My social ineptitude does not allow me to conjure another method of coming clean to you all other than my sincere, although ill-timed apologies."

There was a brief moment where Rosita looked like she had suspected the truth. Then a moment where it looked like she wanted to punch the mullet. But finally, she just gave a curt nod and turned away. 

Abraham showed no such restraint. He launched himself at Eugene. 

The awkward man's saving grace came from an unexpected source. Three little women all inserted themselves firmly between the military issued badass and the mulleted man, now revealed to be a fraud. Sasha, Rosita, and a fellow captive/Terminus defector named Gwynn all made it clear they fully intended to turn their crudely made melee weapons upon Abraham if he approached Eugene any further.

Reluctant to push further and risk injuring the women, Abraham instead skulked into a corner avoiding contact and conversation with everybody. Rosita went to him. The captured former prison group and Gwynn left them be. 

In fits and starts, the prison survivors shared their individual stories from the last few days. Their various struggles in escaping the smoldering prison were told. The names of those lives confirmed lost and presumably lost at the hands of the Govenor recited. Hershel, Beth, Bob - all were gone for sure. Their murders witnessed. Judith's carseat had been found empty and bloody by Rick and Carl. The presumption of her loss was heavily weighing on them both.

Carol's banishment was hotly contested by all but Rick once the full story came to light. Even Maggie and Sasha had now come to Carol's defense after learning just how bad things had gotten for those later lost on death watch down in solitary. Both had railed at the former lawman for his abandonment of one of their own. 

Carol's banishment had not been peacefully discussed at the prison between their leader and the redneck. Their resultant brawl had only been mitigated by the arrival of the governor. Seperation, then reunion amongst the insanity of meeting up with claimers had forced the men to reach an uneasy peace. 

Imprisonment in the boxcar was initially mixed with greatful reunions with other missing group members and introductions to their three new allies from Texas and Gwynn. The woman had shared every disturbing detail she knew about Terminus. Now however, she was attempting to engage Eugene in revealing who he really was, now that his 'scientist with a cure' story was blown.

Daryl had immediately known Eugene's cure story was bullshit. In fact, it seemed to be his brutal call-out of it that had caused the weird-as-fuck man's breakdown and resultant confession. But he didn't have it in him to give a shit. Instead he took an active part in the escape plans and new alliances formed in that boxcar.

First order of business was to get out of this hell hole. Then, everybody would go and look for the rest of their people. The military badass, the spitfire Latina, the Terminus defector and the imposter would be assisting. 

They couldn't very well return to bury the bodies of their dead at the prison. It didn't seem right to leave Hershel, Beth, and Bob and the others where the governor's forces had caused their bodies to fall. But really, there was no choice. So, they decided that their newly combined groups would instead focus on scouting for those last seen alive. Tyreese, the Samuels girls, and Carol.

Daryl's urge to focus solely on finding Carol was overwhelming. Nobody had known they were slowly easing into a relationship. Except maybe Glenn. That sneaky little fucker had begun to question Daryl about Carol even more than usual, right up until the sickness. Whatever. Daryl was done hiding his feelings. He refused to lose Carol. He would have left the prison to go get her. He had beat Rick's ass until he gave up the location he had left her at. Then he was going to leave. That was the plan. But the governor had shown up to kill them all. Plans changed. 

Daryl knew he had to find her, had to let her know he was hers. His mind was playing an endless reel of all his moments with Carol. All his missed opportunities to just open his damn mouth and tell her he loved her. His breathing was picking up as he paced the length of their boxcar prison. He thought he may be going insane. His thoughts of Carol not even slowing at the news of another prison survivor delivered by Sasha.

"Ty got out. I saw him go out the west fence with those Samuels girls. I know my brother. He will do his best for them, but he wasn't made for this world. We have to find them. Fast."

\-----

Mid Morning at The Grove

Carol's mind was screaming at her, telling her to protect Judith, Mika and Tyreese from the horror of Lizzie's mind. She thanked the God she wasn't sure she still believed in that they had arrived in time to save Mika and Judith from Lizzie's blade. The blade Carol herself had trained the girl to use against walkers. 

She didn't think the girl was inherently evil. No, it was the girl's inability or refusal to see the very real differences between the walking reanimated corpses and the living that was the issue.

Her mind was screaming that Lizzie couldn't be saved. Screaming that there was no hope for her. That she was too far gone to live safely with others. Her heart was screaming too though. Screaming that Lizzie was a child, and that any child deserved to have hope. That somehow, Lizzie could be reached. Her heart and head were both also screaming, weeping and keening for Daryl. He was her rock. He was her lifeline. He was her heart. He would know what to do. But Daryl wasn't here. So, she walked with Lizzie through the flowers, desperately searching in her talk with the girl for any sign of hope. Any sign of rationality. Any hint of an ability to be reasoned with. Any trace of sanity.

In the end, the mind overruled the heart. Carol pointed the gun, instructed Lizzie to look at the flowers, pledged her love of the girl, and began to squeeze the trigger.

But, she couldn't do it. Her heart stepped back in and lowered the gun. The future had to have children, and she had to try everything to make Lizzie ready to be a part of that future. So, they had walked back to the little house in the grove. 

Carol led Lizzie back up the porch past Tyreese, who moved protectively beside Mika and Judith. Mika had cowered when her sister walked by. Carol knew that Lizzie could not be around others. She put her into the little den off the living room. It had a door which Carol barricaded, but no windows. 

She walked back to the porch and pulled Tyreese aside. She explained her plan fully. Tyreese would care for Judith and Mika at the Grove while Lizzie remained isolated in the den. It wouldn't be for long hopefully. Just long enough for Carol to immediately leave and travel the few miles to get to Terminus. If the group was there, she would bring them back here to rejoin with Tyreese and the younger girls. Then, she would tell them all to leave. She would remain with only Lizzie at the grove. She would bring Lizzie with her as she returned herself to her own sentence of banishment. She would use the time to try everything in her to reach the girl. 

That was the plan. Four hours later, Terminus burned at Carol's hand. People died at her hand. Plans changed.

\-----

Outside Terminus - Late Afternoon - The Reunion

Was she insane? She had just killed dozens of people in order to rescue her family. Whether they wanted her or not, she would never allow them to be harmed. So, she had killed. Brutally so. With no hesitation. 

She quietly approached the group in the woods. But Daryl heard her. Of course he had. Then, he was running full barrel towards her, crushing his body to her while his lips fell over and over again over her lips, face, and neck. His whispered words of love for her ears only. Her heart sang, then wept knowing she would be forced away from him again soon. God, she had to keep them safe.

She was back on her feet now after being released from Daryl's arms, looking straight into the eyes of Rick Grimes.

She didn't know what she expected to see in his eyes beyond abject relief to be alive. Judgement? Condemnation? Righteous anger? 

"Did you do that?" Rick asked the question quietly, somehow already knowing the answer.

She just slightly nodded. Then she found herself caught up in another hug. Rick's face was a mix of shell shock, relief, and a hint of respect. 

She didn't hesitate long before asking them all to listen very carefully. She told them everything while Daryl stuck close to her side.

The joyous news of Judith's survival with Tyreese and the Samuels girls was delivered. Unfortunately, Carol couldn't stop her news there. She explained her and Ty's peace over the killings of Karen and David. Then she bravely yet slightly hitchingly recounted the events with Lizzie. Her observations from the prison, Lizzie's manner of thought about walkers, the possible harm of Judith if Carol had not found the girls on the tracks, and finally the events of earlier today. Describing Lizzie's assault, murderous intent, and her plan to isolate alone with the girl was met with various reactions from her family and the newcomers.

Rick thought that another community could be found that may take Lizzie in.

Sasha hung on to the fact her baby brother had been able to save Mika and Judith.

The newcomers were split. Abraham and Rosita agreed with the isolation idea. Eugene looked like his wheels were spinning in his head. Gwynn watched his face carefully, not knowing what to expect from the man.

Carl asked why Lizzie was still being allowed to live, which was met by a "Pffft! That Woodbury kid ya shot could ask the same of you. Shot 'em while he was surrenderin'. Yer still here." by Daryl. 

Carl's icy stare cooled a slight fraction, then he just nodded.

Daryl turned to Carol, saying "You ain't goin' anywhere without me goin' with ya." He then threaded his fingers through Carol's, and while holding firm, he gently kissed her. The matter was settled in his mind.

Glenn pointedly fixed his eyes and grin on their joined hands before turning to the rest of the group. His next words were testilly bit out with no room for argument. "We still save people. That's who we've still gotta be. We stick together. Always. Because we are family."

The resulting silence was broken by Eugene who had as of yet not spoken in Carol's presence. She was a little taken aback by his semi-robotic manner of speaking.

"My name is Eugene Porter. I am finding myself in the although terrifying, still uniquely opportune position to offer my assistance in the dire matters at hand while hopefully doing something to put myself in the better graces of those I have decieved so treacherously in the very recent past."

At Carol's blank look, Glenn explained the man's history of deception for protection.

"While I am not a doctor as previously claimed, I did serve as an assistant of sorts to the Chief Nursing Officer at the Stoneguard Psychiatric facility in Plano, TX until the turn. I believe that I am able to offer some assistance to the matter at hand. I have amassed a working knowledge of various levels of psychosis as well as experience in various therapies and psychotropics. If we can scavenge said medications they may assist with the delusions depicted by you as suffered by this young girl. I am also a very logically minded individual who has privately studied walker characteristics. I believe I may be an appropriate choice to attempt to teach and persuade the child in question to change her method of thinking in regards to the dead. I was after all able to persuade twelve fine individuals that my life was more valuable than theirs. It is too late to apologize to my fellow travelers for the deaths my subterfuge caused. But I do believe assisting in this manner may give me a start in getting back into old St. Pete's good graces."

Maggie just stared, listening to the man blather about redemption while privately wishing Beth had escaped instead of Lizzie. Then knowing Beth would be furious with that thought, kept her own council, and tried to think of what her daddy would do. So, she took a deep breath and offered up a compromise solution of sorts.

"Terminus is wiped out. The prison is gone. DC is a bust. Let's just go. We get our people together and go someplace new. Someplace safe. ALL of them."

Daryl nodded his agreement. "We need to find us a few houses. Maybe a gated community - one we can patrol and defend. Carol and Lizzie can isolate in a house if need be with me. I will keep them safe. They can be gone, without really goin' anywhere."

"Together but seperate." Rick nodded, warming to the idea.

"Glenn and I can help out with Mika, have her stay with us. Let Eugene try working with Lizzie." Maggie continued.

"If he can help that girl, we just keep livin'. We make runs, plant, hunt. We live. And we help Lizzie however we can. If we can't, we vote. No dictatorships, Rick. Everybody has a say." 

"That's what daddy and Beth would want us to do." completed Maggie.

Carol was near tears. Stunned, yet greatful that once again plans had changed. Maybe this plan would allow her to finally be with Daryl for the long haul with no Ricktatorship. She thought that she really liked the sound of that.

\------

Garden View Housing Development. One Year Later

"It really invades the brain like meningitis upon onset of infection?"

"According to the original group, the doctor at the CDC showed comparative deep detail scans. I heard it was quite impressive."

"But diseases like meningitis had treatments in the old world."

"One cannot know what science may have come up with eventually if the world had not flipped script. We can only deal with reality. Not supposition."

"Reality." Lizzie sighed, looking at a walker just outside their perimiter. She picked up her crowbar. It was her approved weapon for her lessons.

Teacher and student walked the wall of their community. Stabbing walkers with blunt instruments was part of each day. Daily, Eugene would share a known or accepted medical difference about the living, the walkers, and those permanently dead. He concentrated on areas in which he had some method of physically showing a before/after situation. As long as he could prove the differences to Lizzie, she was able to accept the realities of the world they now lived in. 

She looked at the not long turned walker. She wondered who they had been in life. She couldn't stop the thought that passed through her. That fresh of a walker would have made a choice playmate at the prison or grove.

Eugene's sharply observant eyes caught the look that passed over Lizzie's eyes. He was used to this.

"Reality Lizzie. His brain is decayed to purified black mush. It's rotten. No life left. Reality. No suppositions, remember?"

Lizzie gathered her rational thoughts, and breathed deep. She picked up the crowbar and aimed sharply through the two inch gap in their walls. The stabbing zone. She easily dispensed of the walker.

"Your aim and concentration has greatly improved with your lessons Lizzie. Has Carol been working with you on other weapons?"

"No. The community votes came in. Crowbar only for six more months. Than re-evaluation. Daryl wants to teach me to hunt though if they approve it. But nothing but this crowbar and these walls until re-evaluation."

"I think that is wise. You have come far, but Gwynn and I want to evaluate your medications before any changes are made. She thinks if we can demonstrate further success, we may be able to push for you to be alone more with the younger children."

Lizzie sighed. She still wasn't happy with the woman's self insertion into her teachings. She was pretty sure Eugene was though. Those two were dancing on the edge of a future together. She was greatful to both of them though. They showed her there was a glimmer of hope for her. Her hopes to be around others alone, especially Judith and Mika was so far denied firmly by members of their slowly growing community. Newcomers were informed of her past and her current lessons. No newcomers had welcomed her being around them alone thus far. She felt shunned, but she still held on to that glimmer, that tiny ray of hope.

"You can be done for today. Please go find Carol. She wanted to talk to you about Mika."

Lizzie walked the path back to the house she shared with Carol, Daryl, and Eugene. She had asked repeatedly over the past year to have alone time with her sister. Mika had always denied her. So, she was heartened a bit at any news Carol may share.

Mika had chosen to remain with Glenn and Maggie. She now went by the last name of Rhee, and was anxiously awaiting the birth of the baby she would consider her sibling that Maggie would birth in about two months. Mika had shunned the last name of Samuels. She had wanted to escape the family legacy of the mental illness that had skipped her daddy and settled so firmly in Lizzie. It was her way to get a fresh start. Lizzie understood the reasoning but didn't have to like it. She missed her sister.

Letting herself through the front gate, Lizzie went through her required routine. She immediately scrubbed up in the washing trough before entering.

Not for the first time, she walked in on Carol and Daryl playing grabby hands in the kitchen. She rolled her eyes, but smiled. She liked living with them. They treated her as their own, but she knew she wasn't. She was a Samuels. They were Dixons. 

When they realized she was there, they stopped their play. Lizzie didn't like the nervousness in their eyes.

"Eugene said you wanted to talk to me about Mika?"

Carol nodded nervously. "Mika asked if you would be interested in going over to the park after dinner with her and Carl."

"Carl? Why not just us?"

"Lizzie . . . ya know why." Daryl had fixed her with that look that seemed oddly parental to the girl. "She can't forget what ya done. This way ya can still spend time with her."

"But . . . "

"No buts. Go, see yer sister. Havin' Carl around ain't so bad. Ya know ya wanna spend more time with her. Ya need to see this compromise as a good thing."

Lizzie nodded, sitting down with them for dinner. They were right. She couldn't forget what she had done. But, like Eugene had taught her, she focused on reality. But now her reality included a hope for more. A hope for a real future.

**Author's Note:**

> I ended this story here because it was getting long for my planned one shot. I may either convert this into a multi chapter expansion, or continue in this universe in the future. I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
